THE CATALYST: Your EQ and How to Get Over Negative Emotions

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By Felix C. Veroya

First, you need to be aware that feelings never exist in a vacuum, and they are not always accurate. The feelings we experience on any given day are influenced by our hormones, the foods we have eaten during the day, our physical fitness levels.

While it is tempting to continue to feel bad so you can draw sympathy or attention from others, this type of self-pity will only hold you back and prevent you from moving forward with your life. Instead, you should do something to try and change your current state. Here are some steps you can take to get rid of those negative feelings.

Acknowledge Your Emotions

The first step in getting past your emotions is to acknowledge exactly what you are feeling. While it may be tempting to ignore or push down the emotions you do not like, this will not make them go away – and it could make them stronger. Instead, writing down exactly what you are feeling helps put it into perspective and begin to see the situation from a different perspective. 

Question Your Emotions

Now that you have identified what you are feeling, the next step is to ask: “Is this an appropriate response?” It is almost guaranteed that, at least some of the time, your feelings are the result of a thought process gone wrong — for example, you might be angry with your partner because he or she did not clean the kitchen after dinner, but instead of focusing on how your partner is a slob, maybe it would make more sense to acknowledge that you are nervous about starting a new business and have been looking for something to criticize. By questioning your emotions in this way, it gives you an opportunity to think through whether the situation is truly as bad as it seems. This questioning helps you to reevaluate the situation and see it in a new light.

Pretend It is Not Really Happening

If you are dealing with a critical or negative situation, it can sometimes help to imagine that you are watching the event from a distance rather than imagining yourself as being directly involved. Doing this can help put things into some perspective and allow you to look at the situation logically. It will help you to not take the situation personally and instead look at it as an outsider might.

Get Physical

When you are feeling bad, exercise can be a great way to help get over those negative feelings. You do not have to work out for hours – even going for a five-minute walk can help tremendously. The key is to find an activity that you enjoy and then do it regularly.

These steps are meant as a springboard into helping you learn how cope with your emotions in a healthy manner, so they do not control your life. Do not let negative feelings stop you from living the life you want. 

For questions, concerns, advises and speaking engagements, please send an email to fcveroya@asklexph.com or visit asklexph.com/courses for free e-learning courses for professional development.

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