Don’t Allow People To Walk All Over You
By Xenia S. Estrella
“Gurus”, are found all over the internet. Many want to be tagged as, “influencers”, these days. What do these big words entail; and, if you were given a chance, what would you want to be known as an expert of?
Acceptance is the beginning of happiness but if being too accepting (“such is life”, isn’t necessarily a mantra you’d like to live by) is giving others a chance to take advantage of you, then learn the meaning of a ‘doormat’ and stop wanting to be something like it. It’s wonderful to be generous but, come on. Set boundaries for others and keep yourself from getting badly hurt in the long run.
I was as blind as a gopher in the light, throughout those 8 years (or so) that I spent, head-over-heels in love with my daughter’s dad. I accepted my situation and saw everything good in him as he asked me for money to start businesses, one after another, which for some reason all ended up bankrupt after several months. Just when I was due to get my money back, every single time…
Learning by experience
Man is inherently good, but there are just people who take advantage of other people’s kindness. It may not be because they’re totally evil (just saying). I won’t get into reasons behind the psychology of opportunists; that study is for another article. However, people are getting affected. This very useful content which I believe is important to share, will not only, #1, help you get up from being a yes-person, but it will also, #2 and #3 (basic rules to follow as well), bring wisdom into any decision you need to make.
Just say “no”.
If you’re somebody who can’t seem to decline a request even if you know you shouldn’t say, “yes”; if you know your consenting can get you in trouble, this is a MUST actionable step for you. See, you need to cut the pattern of giving people the opportunity to use you. This is a way for you to leave that old setup behind and start anew with a more self-empowering pattern where you are in control of stressful situations and you know you are doing yourself a favor and being responsible.
Think about it.
Do not rush. Find the need to take your time and see different perspectives more clearly. Otherwise, you are bound to make mistakes.
OK, not everyone is out to get you. You may be thinking, “If I know I can be of assistance to this person, why won’t I help!”.
I am writing this article to prevent exploitation. If you are known to be everybody’s go-to person for help then at least take a little time to consider the pros and cons of a situation before you make a decision. Do not be pressured into helping anybody. Remember that, “nothing good ever comes out of hurry and frustration, only misery” (Auliq Ice).
You teach people how to treat you.
Whichever way you go in a (supposed) give and take circumstance, you have to develop the confidence to find strength within you. The kind of strength that will push you to make sure you have YOUR best interest at heart. It’s wonderful to be able to help others. Don’t stop being a blessing. However, you need to be very aware of your own needs, too. This is where I was weak in the past. Thankfully, I overcame. You definitely can as well. Self confidence may be a tricky attribute to master, but everybody needs to take the time and make the effort to develop this trait if you expect to live a truly happy life.
Be known as an expert in knowing when you should — and shouldn’t — just accept and give in to situations in your life. Learn to assert yourself when necessary.♡♡♡