By Felix Concepcion Veroya
Social influence is the power of an individual’s personality to shape and control other people. Social influences are commonly seen as a form of compliance–an effect where an intended or unintended consequences cause one actor in a situation to behave similarly as others around her or him do in that situation.
Social influence factors include, but are not limited to, physical attractiveness, language use patterns, scarcity principle (the belief that if something is difficult to attain then it must be valuable), and social norms.
As a rule, no one likes being a person with bad social skills. We may not be all that happy about standing out from everyone else in a completely embarrassing way because we do not seem to know how to interact with people.
One of the most important concepts in social influence and human interaction is building an “in-group” of people who are like-minded, similar, or more powerful than you.
Most people have no idea that this concept exists. It needs to be taught, and it needs to be taught across all subjects at every level (high school, college, university, etc.). The only way it can be taught is through interactive lessons and exercises that are designed to reinforce the concepts rather than just tell them. For example, you need to show how important knowledge is by teaching students how they can make better decisions by “labeling” things in meaningful ways which build greater understanding.
When you are trying to make social connections, there are a few things that you should do:
1. Keep in mind how most people are alike. There are some people who will be easier to get along with than others, but they are probably just like you in terms of their needs and wants. If you can find people who share more with you than someone else, it makes sense to associate yourself with them more often.
2. Show respect for everyone even if they seem “different” or stand out from the crowd (remember what I said about not judging a book by its cover). Not doing this is the fastest way to create enemies or get others not to trust you.
3. Do not try to make small talk with people that are obviously more outgoing than you. Not everyone has a reason to try and be social, and usually, they do not have as much in common with each other as you do.
4. Find someone who is like you (based on shared experiences, beliefs, or values) and engage them in conversation if they seem receptive to it. If they seem uninterested, redirect it towards someone else who may be more open-minded or interested in your topic.
By attending various events in the past, it is really an uncomfortable feeling not being able to socialize and capitalize on the networking opportunity that the even can offer. I hope that these tips can kick start your social connection skill and be able to help you build a good social network.
For questions, concerns, advice and speaking engagements, please send an email to fcveroya@asklexph.com or visit asklexph.com/courses for free e-learning courses for professional development.
