By Monsi A. Serrano
Since March 15, the start of the community quarantine, I already dreaded what Agnes would feel when the days of a sustained lockdown continue. I knew it would be tough for her more than anyone in my household.
Agnes is my wife’s sister, she will be 43 years old this November. She is a child who will only grow in size but shall always remain a child, and has grown to call me Daddy. In many ways, you can call her my daughter. My wife and I had a miscarriage in Canada, and then in the Philippines. Now the risk of bearing a child is too high for us to try another pregnancy. Thus, having Agnes in our life is a blessing of completeness.
Like many with down syndrome, Agnes is very outgoing, jovial, and highly sociable, so she has been with us in nearly all of our trips. She loves to travel, drink red wine at night, and take coffee in the morning. It’s been her ritual and quite a hard habit to break.
Agnes has always been educable; and just like any other kid, her list of interests includes dancing, boxing, completing puzzles, and drawing. Whatever she may lack in qualities most people possess, God has compensated with her keen sensory perception. We’d be surprised she could tell some things just before they actually happen. That’s why sometimes I call her “Wolverine.” One time, she insisted that I stay and not travel abroad. I hadn’t even mentioned to anyone that I was planning a trip to Dubai upon the invitation of a newspaper publisher who had appointed me as Chief Philippine Correspondent.
In these last four months, a lot in Agnes’ behavior has changed. She lost the concept of Sunday, which she would always remind us a day before that “Simba” is coming. Now, it looks like she was rebooted, and personally as his Daddy, I also struggle handling her quandary as to what is happening in the world.
No office, no Church, no Greenbelt, no Starbucks, no Wendy’s, no eating out and no usual routines that she used to do with us. This is something that is hard for her to understand. I try to keep our special bond going, like drinking wine and coffee together and having our haircut together, but for the rest of things, this pandemic has turned her world upside down.
Agnes has become irritable, sleeps longer (almost 12 hours), craves for wine almost every day, and always asks: “Papasok?” You’d sense the frustration that going to the office with us seems to be too far ahead for her.
All of these remain a daily struggle for me as I keep figuring out what I can do to console her. One time, she turned violent and hit my head with the stack of wooden placemats. She laughed out loud, but upon seeing I was hurt, said sorry. I really did not feel anger, because I knew she was trying to find an outlet to release her angst, given the fact that the whole world was disrupted by COVID19, and much more her own little world with me and the people in the office that she misses. It was her way of coping with her sudden abnormal world.
This little world of Agnes has been momentarily disrupted. As for how long this would last, only God knows. Sometimes, I even ask myself, “What if I died? How would Agnes cope with not seeing me anymore?”
Of course, we never treat her differently. We treat her as a normal child. But each day during the community quarantine is like hell to her, or maybe purgatory. I told my wife that the best thing to keep Agnes’ sanity is to drive her around, and we’ve managed to do this twice during the GCQ (General Community Quarantine).
Could you imagine what a simple road trip can mean to a person in isolation? It’s magic that makes a gloomy world turn happy. So, even if my wife and I are both busy, we make time to drive Agnes around just to see and feel the trees, moving cars and people bustling with life from behind a car window.
I still remember when we first told Agnes that we were going out. She exclaimed, “Papasok?” and I smiled and said, “No. We will go ‘ikoy-ikoy’ (go drive around).” Her face beamed and hurried straight to the bathroom to bathe and dress up. I was excited for Agnes, but none of us was as excited as she.
As soon as I pulled out of the garage, I was surprised to see Agnes laughing her way out to the driveway so quickly. She suffers from 3rd-degree knee degeneration due to osteoarthritis in both her knees so she usually moves slowly. Compound that with the fact that, due to this pandemic, she failed to get her knee lubricant injection for both knees to ease the pain. But happiness, like laughter, truly cures any disease as in this case.
Of course, it helps that we drive a medium-sized SUV. The Honda CRV provides just the right legroom for her at the back where she could stretch her knees, plus she adores the collapsible cupholders for her water jug and drinks. Seeing her wide-eyed grin from the rearview mirror made me think, “Independence Day!”
Finally, when we hit the road, Agnes started giggling, then saluted the guards in the village as we had trained her. The farther we drove away, the louder she laughed. We were cruising along C-5 road extension as I planned to take the Skyway leading to Taguig and Libis areas, places that offer Agnes sights far different from our residential monotony.
I drove smoothly, just the way Agnes liked it – not too fast as she gets jittery upon hitting 100 km/h. Her body seems to have a built-in speedometer. Along the way, she chants to the billboards we pass by: “Jobigee!” for Jollibee; “MaDo!” for McDonald’s; and “O-box!” for Starbucks. We knew she wanted to swing by, so before we could even finish the question, she fires back: “O-Box!” At the drive-thru, we ordered her favorite Dark Chocolate Mocha Frappucino. Then, it was all quiet bliss and twinkling in her eyes as she sipped on her Starbucks drink with all the way to Cubao, Quezon City.
Meanwhile, Agnes was enjoying her favorite drink from Starbucks inside the car. For her, it was truly a Freedom Day. You can see the glow in her eyes beyond words. So my wife and I decided to drive from Quezon City to Makati via EDSA but this time we take the Boni Serrano Avenue Road.
Interestingly, when we passed by Camp Aguinaldo and Agnes pointed out at the military camp’s Logistics Gate and made a sign of the cross and said, “Simba”. Meaning, that she used to hear mass there before when she was still young. Much as I wanted to take her inside the camp’s chapel at the St. Ignatius de Loyola Parish Church, I did not take the chance since all camps are in red alert status and if I have no decal, there is a slim chance we would be allowed to enter.
From that side, I deliberately made it a long trip for Agnes. So we drove back to 20th Avenue instead of going straight to EDSA via Boni Serrano Avenue. Then we took P. Tuazon Avenue going to Cubao and to traverse EDSA. Since it was past 6 and a bit darker, along the way, we are telling Agnes that the establishments she used to see open during those times are now closed like the stores in Ali Mall, SM, and other establishments.
When we turned to EDSA, it was traffic and Agnes who seemed to wander in her head, then exclaimed: “Traffic!” Then my wife and I looked at each other and sensed that Agnes knew we were heading back home.
To prolong her joy ride, we decided to pass by Greenbelt and my wife bought some burgers at Wendy’s for the three of us and Agnes’ favorite iced tea. Agnes got what she used to have, except it was a bit of a shortcut of a usual day at the office. As we drove back home, Agnes seemed to have found what was missing in her life in lockdown and was contented by it all. To us, it was just a drive; but to Agnes, it was truly a joy ride.
As of this writing, the cases of COVID19 dramatically rises every day that I dread what may be an increased chance of an ECQ (Enhanced Community Quarantine) being implemented again. This means more limited mobility. While I serve in media and, as such, classified as an essential worker, I cannot tag Agnes along with me.
Indeed, this COVID19, regardless of whether this is genetically-engineered or natural virus has created havoc in everyone’s life and in the whole world. Having said this, the fact remains we need to keep our sanity and stay alive in the midst of the pandemic. As for us, having Agnes in our life is truly special, so if the only way to keep her healthy in body and mind is to drive her around, then so be it. Let our Agnes see the sunlight even once in a while to give her hope that this darkness brought about by COVID19, too, shall pass.
As Saint Francis of Assisi said, “A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows.”
