PER ASPERA AD ASTRA: Getting Past the Fear of Change

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By Xenia S. Estrella

Nobody in my family really understands me.  I mean, I know they love me very much and they try as hard as they can to put good meaning into the kind of work that I do, but empowerment coaching, online coaching programs and affiliate marketing?  It’s a bit confusing for a family whose members (except for me) are all experienced in working for big, multinational companies; in management and finance.

I would love it if I can enjoy logic and deskwork as much as, say, my CPA mom who worked so hard throughout her professional life, to climb the corporate ladder and achieve her highest potential (she became President of two multinational companies before retiring 16 years ago.  Wow, I can’t believe it’s been that long ago!).  

Change is scary, but it may be necessary.  My family would be less concerned about my plans, I think if I decided to work according to the structure of a corporate job and be like my mom and my sister who seems to be following in her footsteps.  I am not like my mom, though.  I’m, kinda, more like my dad who has taken on an entrepreneurial spirit.  Before he retired, he forged a career in real estate (like me).  Our difference is, I didn’t end there because of my abiding passion for literally helping individuals find meaning and strength in their own pain, whatever that may be for them.  This part, nobody really understands.  However, just because nobody quite understands where I’m coming from does not have to mean that I should give up on my passion and stick  to what is already in front of me just because other people say so.

Follow your own passion — not your parents’, not your teachers’ — yours.

  • Robert Ballard

Following my passion may mean more expenses (I’d much rather think of these as investments) and new, unfamiliar territory for me, but it also means breathing better, excitement for the unknown and fire in my drive to succeed.  I will not give up when I can clearly see the prize that I have my mind and my heart set on, right in front of me… right?

I am an empowerment coach; and as one, I am all about mindset.  It is one thing to feel empowered to transform oneself after moments of realizations, but it is definitely another to actually live up to the decisions made and stay consistent when difficulties arise and the urge to go back to what is familiar (yet unsound) starts to build up.  When I find myself stuck on an idea, an unfinished action plan or a tricky financial situation for any reason, I always go back to one of my mantras.  “Discomfort is a sign of progress”.  Then, I just push myself to not think too much, and move on.  I, of course, am not perfect, but my coaches (yes, of course I have my own.  Everybody needs a coach) hold me accountable, so I am always reminded of what is at stake if I don’t go forward.  Mindset is necessary but consistent action is the key to success.

Ahh… success… “don’t give up 5 minutes before the miracle!”.  We all know that most victories don’t happen overnight.  It takes time to win a battle!  So when I find myself overwhelmed and on the verge of stress, I try my best to refocus on the essentials, take time to accept what’s not working for me, breathe, then plan again.  I am happy to be growing my coaching business and I love growing with my clients as they find their ‘a-ha’ moments and get clearer about their purpose, too.  I do not give up on my dreams.  I just try to be more mindful of my environment — all the time.  I try to teach myself to see the good despite any bad, determine action steps that can make situations better and get up and move my butt to work on freedom from being stuck in a rut, and finding my true happiness.  

My definition of success may be different from anyone else’s.  It’s OK.  What I know for sure is that there is so much success in the world merely waiting to be achieved.  We all only have to develop a positive frame of mind and the eagerness to really focus on the essentials in order to find them.

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